Joined the Peace Corps. BRB.

Across the hall from my apartment is an NGO. Wouldn’t it be strange if I was an SOCD volunteer and that was my workplace? I could just roll out of bed with 30 seconds to spare every morning, wipe the corn flakes off my cheeks, and save the world. I shouldn’t joke about working there though – it’s a female business leaders in Kyrgyzstan NGO. My forte!

So they’re my neighbors. We chat very neighborly usually – Hi, how’s it going? Good? Good. I’m good too. Yes, good. Good, good. Ok, goodbye. – But, today they threw a kink in our normally good (good) relationship. They tried to shake me down for cash! Supposedly one of the ladies who works at this NGO cleans the stairwell every once in awhile and they want 100 som (~$2.50 USD) per month from me for this service. We obviously don’t know each other that well: I haven’t cleaned my apartment since I moved in back in July. Their argument (We’re doing you a service!) and mine (I ordered pizza, not cleaning!) didn’t get us very far, so I just refused politely and tossed a candy wrapper on the floor. …Just kidding.

Honestly, I’m kind of disappointed. I like neighbors that make me apple pie, not ones that sweep my doorway and then ask for money.

Some of my students drive me crazy sometimes. The latest reason is because of some white powder they like to play with in class. I’m not going to lie, when they first pulled out bags of this stuff and hollowed out their pens, I said to myself, “These kids are going to snort coke right in the middle of my freaking class.” Turns out that it was just powdered sugar that they were eating with their pens.

I drive them crazy sometimes too. I’m not much of a screamer, I just toss kids out of class when they don’t listen. But one last week, my students were being especially disrespectful so I launched into a tirade over their behavior. A student in the front began to wave his hands in front of his face, almost in desperation. It looked like he was waving off my words as his classmates laughed in chorus. Turns out I was spitting on him during my angry diatribe. Whoops.

But things are good, real good. Making meals is so much easier with a rice cooker. I mean, rice goes with everything, it’s ridiculous. And besides…

“I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something.”

By now, leaders around the world should be breathing in for the first time in many hours after spending much of the day screaming in outrage over North Korea’s nuclear test. UN sanctions, whiny statements from presidential spokesmen, and “tough guy” posturing will litter the news wires for a few days too. Am I the only one who sees Kim Jong Il’s nuclear test as a good thing?

Before I am slammed by McCarthy from the grave, let me explain. First and foremost, President Bush must secretly love the timing of the news from East Asia. For the first time in months, the world’s spotlight has left the Middle East and is squarely on the Korean peninsula; there could be car bombs and suicide bombers going nuts in Iraq, but they’ll be Page 2 material for the next week. The only other thing that could have taken the media heat off of Bush would be if OJ tried to kill someone again; nothing scares people’s attention up like a nuclear weapon.

Second, while I don’t condone North Korea’s nuclear ambitions, it’s actually a brilliant political move by the hermitic nation to force America’s hand. They tried to force America into dialogue in July with their missile tests, but failed; the U.S. can’t ignore a nuclear test like seven missiles though. As full as America’s hands are with the situation in Iraq, they cannot set a precedent of indifference by continuing to stick to the Six Party Talks requirement for dialogue between itself and North Korea. Unlike Iraq’s supposed weapons of mass destruction program, North Korea’s is very real and must be addressed by the U.S. through direct talks. The problems that the U.S. have with North Korea have been ignored and pushed to the background for too long. This nuclear test will do exactly what Kim Jong Il seeks – seize the attention of the U.S. and force dialogue between the two enemies.

Today’s news is continually focused on Iraq and the Middle East, but for how much longer? With the rocket-like ascension of China, North Korea’s joining of the nuclear club, South Korea’s rise to the economic elite in the world, and Japan’s soon-to-be-revised constitution changing its foreign policy, it’s not hard to realize that North East Asia will soon dominate those same headlines. Beijing’s 2008 Olympics seem to be a logical start for the world’s renewed focus on the region, but you have to wonder if today’s nuclear test by North Korea has accelerated that change.

Terrifyingly exciting times that we live in.

I teach an advanced English club twice a week at school. The kids’ English is usually pretty good, so we get to have some high level discussions. Most of the questions they have are usually too intense for me to answer though: What do you think of the Iraq War? Why did Americans kill all the Indians? What is your opinion on the use of the atomic bomb? I think the kid called it “the most terrible offense against mankind in history.” Straight out of a Soviet-era text, I imagine. My cop-out answer is always the same: “Hey! I’m a Peace Corps volunteerbot – I don’t have any opinions on anything related to the United States government or its policies.”

My head is a box filled with nothing, and that’s the way I like it.